bee keeping age

 

(my love, Gabriel Macht)

Daddy issues? No, just an unhealthy relationship with someone older than me who can treat me like I'm their world and swallow me up. Anyone who tries to argue me out of my love for older partners can suck my non-existent, but still very hard, dick because there is just something about the age gap that I love. 

Maybe it's the emotional maturity that most off them have that I just can't seem to find in anyone my age right now. They are just generally more grounded and secure and that to me is sexy as fuck. Who doesn't want to be taken care of by a partner who actually communicates and can handle themselves along with yourself. Or that could just be me and I have some sort of weird care kink but who knows. I swear I can't be the only one who thinks this way. It's just, being with someone who is competent enough to take care of themselves, and I mean grooming plus their life in general, while being able to give some (70%) of their focus to you, I would fold right then and there. 

It's also very possible that I'm just attracted to someone experienced. In life of course you dirty minded freak... but also sex. I mean, come on. Unfortunate is a girl that was never someones second but always their first. Inexperienced, messy, and definitely not what I want in the future. Is it so wrong for me to want someone who can throw me down and know exactly what to do to make me forget all about how hard work was that day. Is it? If it is then I guess I might as well ask for a star to be plucked out of the sky for me because that is the fantasy that I create in my head to fall asleep most nights. I really couldn't care less about the fact that you have been with other people and that I'm not your first, as long as you ain't carrying something, if you can make me happy I'm good. However the only people that fit this want, which is becoming more now a need of mine, are people older than me. You know, honestly, that's fine with me.
Sue me for being a freak. 

Or maybe it's the fact that older usually mean they have their expectations laid out on the table, unfortunately not me, yet, but what I'm getting at is the dating experience. They know how to love and how they want to be loved, no questions asked. I understand that many people my age are still figuring out what it is that they want from a significant other but what if I already know what I want. I don't particularly feel like being a guinea pig for someone to figure out what works and what doesn't, at least not anymore. You gotta know what you want from me and what you can give to me. People who are older tend to be more experienced and know what they want, therefore it gives them this draw that hooked me by my ass and yanked me in. 

Maybe I'm just fucked and I have something wrong in my brain but the older I get the more attractive people 3+ years older than me get. It's starting to become a small problem and it's not just the folder of 300+ edits I have saved on Tiktok, it's the fact that I have this annoying ass yearning for something I'm too much of a pussy to go for. 

God, seeing what you can't have is the worst. 

For now I'm just going to re-watch every single edit I have of Gabriel Macht as Harvey Specter in Suits to tide me over. Maybe one day I'll be able to wrench my words from my brain and actually talk to someone I find attractive but until then it's Netflix with Suits and Tiktok edits till 2am in the morning before work. 

Someone sedate me please. 

(He's so fine it hurts)